There is nothing as satisfying as the look and feel of a blank sheet of paper, a freshly cleaned chalk board (white board these days), and the cracking of the binding as you smooth open a new notebook and pick up a freshly sharpened pencil to make your first mark.
While I am not sure that there is much truth to the metaphorical “blank slate”, there is something about a “new year” that lends itself to the idea of a fresh start. It can give us a renewed sense that we have power over our choices, our path, our journey. And if we can’t shake completely free from the mistakes of the years past, then maybe we can move forward in spite of them, because of them even.
It can be scary. Dammit, it IS scary. We feel out of control as we bravely, vulnerably, step forward into the life we deserve. This morning a heart mentor of mine, who also happens to be my sometimes yoga instructor, sent an email introducing her new yoga blog and website (a project more than a year in the making), and inviting those of us on her email list to start the year off with yoga Monday morning.
Even as I typed YES and hit send, the excuses started coming…my brain automatically went into fight or flight mode sabotaging my intention. Within seconds all these thoughts zoomed through my brain.
But…
“I’m not working tomorrow, why get up at 4:45am when I have the day off?”
“I am probably still too sick. I could get everyone else sick. Can you even do yoga when you are on antibiotics for Strep Throat?”
“I haven’t been on my mat in months. Months. I know I want to practice again, but I probably won’t make it through the first round of Sun Salutations.”
“Everyone in the class will probably be thinking: ‘Who does this clumsy fat woman think she is, defiling our beautiful, serene, yogic sanctuary.’ ”
Thankfully, I had already started this blog, even shared it with a handful of people close to me, including said yoga instructor. I also did myself the favor of reading her blog post “How to Start a Daily Home Practice” this morning after receiving her email. What struck me the most as I read her words was the idea of “making an appointment with yourself”. Because I matter. My wellbeing matters. I deserve to feel the best I can inside and out. I am worth choosing. So instead of but, I will say take the leap and say…
because…
“I can’t imagine a better way to start a precious day off work than nurturing my body, mind and spirit with early morning yoga.”
“I am not too sick. I will not get anyone else sick. In fact practicing yoga will be healing and boost my immunity, not to mention help to restore my spirit.”
“You know Audrey doesn’t care about that. You could spend the whole hour in child’s pose if you need to (and you know you won’t have to), the hardest part is getting to your mat. The rest is just breathing.”
“Please…nobody cares about any of that but you. You are a beautiful soul inside and out. Put light in the world and light will come back to you.”
As Audrey says, “The hardest part is making it to your mat.” The rest is just breathing…and “Unwritten“…
*Shout out to my friend Sara for reminding me (in a playlist she created for my youngest daughter’s birth) how much I love the lyrics to this Natasha Bedingfield song.
Every day there are things I want to do and things I need to do. May God give me the wisdom to find a balance for both.
Yes…Trying to untie some of the knots that are crossing my wants with my needs.
Ohhhhh….. “The hardest part is making it to your mat. The rest is just breathing…” LOOOOOOOVE THIS. Gonna hold on to this MARVELOUS little tidbit…aka reminder…as it relates to just about EVERY area of my life where my own ‘excuses’ keep my from just getting started. And KUDOS to you for speaking truth to your own ‘excuses’ and taking a brave step forward. I’m cheering you on with my whole heart!!!!
Right! I still believe we have to give ourselves space for grace. Rest is so important and a huge part of nourishing our bodies. But sometimes we have to take the scary leap and bust through all those excuses we use to sabotage what we deserve. To put our wellbeing first so we have something in our cup to serve others from.
I do agree with you. I had similar incident yesterday. I had been fighting a cold and I got a troat infection. I was suppose to see a client yesterday afternoon and I kept going back and forth If I was feeling well enough to see my client. I hated to cancel someone’s appointment but then I had a serious conversation with my self and I decided that it was ok to take time to reheal my self and be able to have a better start for this year.
Absolutely! I think as women we are so used to putting ourselves last that it is easy to get caught in a cycle that wears us down. I am wondering if I work harder to proactively take care of myself if I will find that I have more to give in the end.
Congrats Heather on your blog!
Way to go! Starting your year with something positive and share it to the social world. You are right. Life can be messy and crazy and we do need to dance with it, even though sometime it isn’t your favorite song ^_^.
I started my year by making “Gratitude Jar” for me and my family to drop their grateful notes in each day. My kids put three notes in last night (they mostly grateful for the toy they got from Santa!). Sometimes we need a reminder.
Life is a journey…
Love the gratitude jar! Would love to do that with our family too.